Thursday

5 TV shows that will suck the intelligence out of you leaving you dumb and lifeless.


Life, reflected?

I’m getting really sick of all the bullshit on television these days.  Whatever happened to the brilliant writing of the past?  The humor? The suspense? The drama? The creativity of a show evolving over time? 


We’re stuck, instead, with all this REALITY TV crap.  People are getting “famous” for doing absolutely nothing aside from making a mockery of their lives and the lives of the people around them. 

1. Real Housewives my fat ass!  A “housewife” is a woman who does not work outside of the home.  She stays home to raise her children and take care of her family.  She is not a DIVORCED entrepreneur with a separate nanny for each kid, a maid, a cook and a personal assistant.

2. Then there’s Survivor.  Really?  When you’re stuck on a deserted island with no food or water and only the clothing on your back there’s always a team-building game you can play in to earn fire and supplies to stay alive.  A true survivor is the lone survivor of a plane crash, stranded in snow covered mountains whose only option for food is the chucky thigh of the guy who sat next to him on the plane before it crashed.

3. And what about the folks from New Jersey?  Jersey Shore is like one of those clown cars at the circus…where the clowns keep coming out and you wonder how the hell they all fit in that thing.  Except these clowns are burnt orange from fake tans and they probably carry more sexually transmitted diseases than a crack whore living under a bridge.

4. And speaking of clowns… we also have Keeping up with the Kardashians.  The WHO?  Where the fuck did this motley crew come from?  O.J. Simpson’s lawyer’s widow married an Olympic winner from the 70’s. This is the story of their lives.  Let us not forget the sex tape scandal that made daughter, Kim Kardashian famous.  It’s ridiculous that our society has supported this train wreck of a show by watching it… and buying the rags….and contributing to the filth online.

Thank the sweet baby Jesus that Paris Hilton isn’t doing reality TV anymore. 

5. Finally, there’s My Super Sweet 16.  My teenage daughter watches this trash on MTV.  She and her friends think they can get Usher to sing for them at their 16th birthday parties.  A few of them are also so delusional that they think they’re entitled to brand new BMW convertibles and tiaras emblazoned with diamonds.  Who the fuck do YOU know that gets shit like this at 16 years old in the REAL WORLD?  No one.  These heifers need to get a J-O-B and learn the value of hard work!

It’s sad, people.  There are so many clever and talented screen/TV writers out of work because their work isn’t valued.  If only we could go back to appreciating the art of writing and ACTING instead of sustaining all the bullshit that seems to be clogging up the airwaves.


Tamara Hancock is a freelance writer from Texas who dreams of hitting it big some day. But for now, she just pimps others out for money. Also, she complains. A lot. You will find her ranting away at http://www.snarkyheifer.com.

4 comments:

  1. ”Whatever happened to the brilliant writing of the past?”

    And you know all about ‘writing brilliant’? Why?

    Because you are a ‘brilliant writer’ yourself? Not!

    Don’t you think that it is about time that you snap out of your delirious state of denial?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I didn't claim (at least not in this post) to be a brilliant writer. In case you didn't notice, this post is about the quality of current television shows.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "I didn't claim (at least not in this post) to be a brilliant writer. In case you didn't notice, this post is about the quality of current television shows."

    Ja nee (third country language), you are just a brilliant writer. Most brilliant writers start their sentences with "In case you didn't..".
    Pure brilliant writing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You're beginning to inspire me. Maybe I need to rant about anonymous, trash-talking stalkers.

    ReplyDelete

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