Stupid people CAN serve a purpose.

I don't know what you're
saying, but I'll repeat it anyway.
Is it mean to use another person’s inability to form an original thought to further your own agenda? 

I offer the following for your consideration:

We all know a Suzie. She’s a coworker, so we have to deal with her in a professional manner every day. Or, maybe she’s the wife of a friend, or the spouse of your boss or a spouse’s boss.

In any case, Suzie is not the person you would spend a lot of time with if the choice was yours, but sometimes in life we are forced to put others before ourselves and we just deal with it. We do it because we are mature adults. We do it because we see a long range benefit. We continue to do it until the risk of prison forces us to admit defeat and avoid her, no matter what.

The reason we have to know why Suzie is in your life in the first place is to establish the grounds that you would allow her energy draining presence.

Suzie may be pleasant enough until you are sucked into trying to have a conversation with her. Halfway through her second sentence you know exactly who she talked to last. You recognize the structure of the sentence or use of slang. Her face morphs into the face of the mutual acquaintance and you are mesmerized until she pauses for a breath and you are suddenly brought back to the present knowing that your own intelligence has suffered simply because you were listening.

You know from experience that you can present your own point of view and that Suzie will readily accept it. Her eyes will glaze, but you’ll recognize that soon she’ll fasten onto a point and commit the rest of your argument to memory.

If you are satisfied that you can spread your message through Suzie because you know she’ll repeat your views to the next person she talks to, good for you. Just remember that it is a limited opportunity restricted to her next conversation only because she’ll leave that meeting of the minds with a whole new opinion and way of expressing it.

The breath and time you’ve wasted talking to Suzie could have been saved to be used at the end of your life to settle up with your ‘higher being’. It doesn't take many repeat performances before you recognise that the entire interaction is actually a one sided debate, and while the potential for winning the contest is high, the win would lack the pride of success experienced from an even match.

Before long  you master the art of plastering on a smile and nodding in agreement as your mind ponders other important questions and you busy your hands so you don’t inadvertently reach up to hold your head in despair or out to commit any act that would resemble assault.

It is important to remember at times like these that it hurts your reputation and future employment opportunities to use insanity as a defense.

So, back to my original question and the reason for this rant.

I’ve hit upon a new and entertaining way of dealing with Suzie. Instead of grinding my teeth each time she approaches, I listen to her and identify the least intelligent grain of her regurgitated monologue. I jump on that obviously false and poorly stated shallow idea and agree with her, adding enough praise to make her feel that she is capable of forming an original thought. 

By the time our conversation comes to an end, I am certain that Suzie will go forth and repeat it with the confidence of the ego that I have helped to inflate and will repeat the message.

Using the sheer ridiculousness of the argument that she is ready to reiterate and not be swayed from until another listener takes the time to make her feel brilliant and change her thoughts, I have used Suzie to bring her listeners over to my point of view. If they are capable of original thought, their brains will instantly reject her preposterous statements and Suzie has unknowing help me forward my message.

Am I really a bad person? You be the judge.

Patrice Campbell is a freelance writer and self described crone from Denver, CO. She takes advantage of her advanced years by offering unsolicited advice and opinions to those who still socialize with her. When her calls are sent directly to voice mail and never returned, she vents on, Facebook and Twitter.

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